


Truth Value

by terpsichorean



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Episode Related, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-07
Updated: 2014-12-07
Packaged: 2018-02-28 11:41:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2731133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terpsichorean/pseuds/terpsichorean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Conversation: an informal talk involving two people or a small group of people; the act of talking in an informal way.<br/>or<br/>Conversations Rick has had with members of Team Family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Truth Value

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically just a way for me to try to get in the characters' heads and give Rick Grimes some love. I'm not sure how often this will be updated, but I have a few more ideas in mind. This takes place during 4x01 in case that's not obvious.

"Didn’t see you at dinner."

Glenn startled, looking up from the prison yard he’d been staring at blankly. Rick was settling beside him on the walkway, carrying two bowls of cream corn and venison. He mutely handed one to Glenn, then turned toward the field.

Glenn nodded, picking at it. “Thanks.”

They sat in silence for a long moment, Glenn picking at the corn and Rick chewing. The only sound was the distant moaning of the walkers on the fence line and the occasional clunk or voice from inside the prison. Finally, Rick sighed and put aside his bowl, looking down and tilting his head toward Glenn.

"I’m sorry bout Zach. He was a good kid."

Glenn looked back at the yard and the setting sun. “Yeah, he was. I still need to talk to Beth about it.”

Rick shook his head. “Daryl’s got it covered.”

"How’s he doing?"

"Bout as can be expected."

Silence fell again.

"Maggie thought she was pregnant." A breath. Rick didn’t move. "She isn’t but - we still thought - and I just -" He stuttered to a stop.

Rick didn’t say anything, just waited patiently for Glenn to continue. Eventually, he managed to.

“I guess I always wanted kids y’know? I never really thought about it a lot, but I wanted it. Get married, have a career, kids, the whole white picket fence routine. But now…”

Glenn sighed. “I just don’t know how we could do it. I mean, it was dangerous enough before, but now it’s-” he cut himself off before he could say anything more. He didn’t need to tell Rick, of all people, the dangers of having a child in this world. Rick, the man whose face was a rictus of pride and fear when teaching his son how to shoot. Rick, the man who lost his wife to gain a daughter. Rick knew those dangers intimately, lived and breathed them everyday. He didn’t need Glenn to unload on him and add to that burden.

Rick leaned back on his hands, staring up at the sky, saying nothing. Glenn waited for him to speak in anxious silence and felt awful. Way to remind the guy about his dead wife, that was a really smooth move. Good job. Rick was just starting to smile again, look bright around the eyes instead of exhausted and he had to go bring up his tragic backstory. Fuck.

Glenn opened his mouth, not really sure what he was going to say, just hoping he could magically fix this, when Rick started to speak.

"I was terrified of having kids," he said. Glenn closed his mouth with a click. That was not what he was expecting. "My dad left me and my mom when I was just a kid. Guess he just couldn’t cut it. We never heard from or saw him again, and I think it was better that way. But Lori -" Rick huffed a sad laugh. Glenn resisted the urge to reach out. "Lori loved kids. She always wanted kids. Managed to find ‘em everywhere we went and she was so goddamn good with ‘em. I knew I wanted to be with her, and I knew she wanted kids, so we’d have ‘em. But I was still scared stiff. Thought I’d screw up, leave like my dad did. Or that I’d stay, and that that’d be worse."

Rick was still staring up at the sky. He had a wistful smile on his face, just curling the corners of his mouth. He looked unbearably sad. It made Glenn’s chest ache.  ”And one day I just looked at her, making these god-awful pancakes, and I thought about it. A kid sitting at the table, choking down those pancakes with me. Running around the house, getting into all kinds of shit, yelling up a storm. This little human being who was the best of both of us. And I couldn’t breathe, I wanted that so much.”

Rick slanted a look over at Glenn. His smile looked a little more real, a little less sad. But not by much. “So we talked. And we had Carl. And y’know what? I was still terrified. I still am. I don’t know what I’m doing half the time, still convinced I’m gonna fuck everything up.”

Glenn stared at him. “No offense,” he said, “but you really suck at giving pep talks.”

Rick laughed, smile wide and eyes crinkled. It was nice to see, and Glenn couldn’t help laughing along. “None taken. But the point I’m trying, and apparently failing to make -” Rick looked Glenn straight in eyes, his expression completely serious. “The fear never stops. You’re always gonna worry bout ‘em, wonder if you’re doing right by ‘em. You just gotta push through it and do your best, give ‘em every piece of you.”

He sat back up, rubbing his hands on his jeans. His eyes never left Glenn’s. “My advice? Talk bout it with Maggie, figure out what you want. If you’re not ready, then you’re not ready. But if you are, then here’s the best place to do it.”

Glenn considered this, then nodded. He looked back out at the field, listened to the moans at the fence, a bird chirping somewhere behind them. The taste of cream corn lingered in his mouth, a sweet tang.

"And hey. For what it’s worth?" Rick waited until he was looking at him to continue. His face was fond, his eyes warm. It was an expression Glenn recognized with dull surprise. His older sisters looked at him like that, when he laid around complaining about his homework instead of actually doing it, when he whined for a dog for a month and tried to sneak a stray inside and proceeded to pretend it had always been there and they were the weird ones for questioning it. His throat closed up and he swallowed in an attempt to clear it. "You’d be a great father. Any kid’d be lucky to have you."

Glenn blinked, swallowed again, and gave a smile. He hoped it wasn’t as watery as it felt, but he knew it was. “Thanks, Rick. That means a lot.” He cleared his throat. He sounded like he had a head cold.

Rick smiled back, putting a hand on Glenn’s shoulder to get to his feet. He pointed at Glenn’s by now incredibly soggy food. “Eat that, or Maggie’ll kick both our asses.” Glenn snorted.

"She send you out here?"

Rick shook his head. “Nah, I just wanted to check on you. But she told me to make sure you ate somethin’ so I figured I’d try.”

Glenn grinned at him. “Thanks.”

Rick leaned down and grabbed his own bowl, ruffling Glenn’s hair and ignoring his indignant squawk. “Don’t worry bout it. See you later.” And Glenn was alone again.

He picked at his food some more, eating all the meat and leaving the corn. He could pawn it off on someone, Maggie would never know.

He startled at a loud crash from inside the prison, followed by someone cursing vehemently and a chorus of laughter. He grinned and leaned back on his elbows, turning his face to the sky and closing his eyes.

Maybe it would be okay. Inside the fences, surrounded by family. Home.

He opened his eyes. The first stars were coming out, clouds scudding the vast expanse.

Maybe.

**Author's Note:**

> kaledanvers.tumblr.com


End file.
